Recently, I was sitting down with my team and we were discussing the stories of candidates who wanted to work at our social enterprise. We had a lot of laughs around the table as we told stories about the people who really should know more.

distance is a problem

For example, I had a person who interviewed me directly. I mentioned to this person, who had an impressive resume, that the drive to the office was 45 minutes each way, and that was on a good day. “Don’t worry,” this person replied, and then told me how much she wanted to be a part of my innovative team of professionals.

We talked for a long time and were moving through the process, and then one day my VP of Administration got an email (they never call in person, do they?) letting him know that distance was indeed an issue. .

Too complicated

A friend and colleague of mine was in talks with her former tax attorneys, and the advisers informed her that they could handle her complicated returns, which are international. All they needed was an extra month of time to deal with tax season, as the couple would apply for an extension.

Not long ago, no less than a Saturday night, the couple received a call from the tax attorneys. It was two months after agreeing to start their depositions to tell them that “on second thought” the presentations were so complicated and that they would have to deal with international tax treaties, and they decided to decline. That resulted in frustration, a lot of fighting, and expedited returns costing them more money.

please say no

I’m sure you’ve had situations where someone tells you it’s a yes before it’s a no. Maybe it’s going out to dinner with friends, only to have your friend call you at the last minute to say “something came up.” Maybe it’s your spouse who keeps telling you that he’ll think of something you want to do, but he never gives you an answer. Or maybe it’s your boss who keeps suggesting that there’s a promotion in the future (soon) if you work harder and the goal keeps moving.

Can we all put an end to the madness and muster up the courage to say whatever doesn’t work? Wouldn’t you rather know something up front, take off the bandage, so to speak, and get on with your life? In fact, the most successful people in business will tell you that they say no, often. It is one of the best things you can do for yourself and others. For you, it conserves your energy and helps you stay focused on the activities that really matter to you. For others, you’re doing them a favor and saving them the hassle of more significant disappointment down the line.

practice saying no

Many people are feisty on social media with their big, bad attitudes, but when you talk to them in person, they are people pleasers. No one is telling you to be rude or nasty to people, but practice the art of saying no. If when you look in the mirror, you’re one of the people who find it hard to say no to someone, make sure you practice it. You will be doing yourself and everyone in your life a favor. Sure, you may end up with some initial resistance and disappointment, but over time, you’ll see that people appreciate your genuine attitude.

The reality is that people would rather know the truth honestly, politely, then tell them yes just to waste their time, and then tell them you’ve changed your mind. Think about that the next time you’re inclined to tell someone what they want to hear instead of what you feel, which is that deep down you don’t want to.