It is estimated that more than one-third (35 percent) of American adults have a profile on a social networking site, according to the Pew Internet & American Life Project daily tracking survey of 2,251 adults. A more practical survey can be done by simply thinking about the number of people you know who use these sites, starting with yourself.

While many will legitimately use social networking sites for streaming, distribution, and communication purposes, more people are trying to instigate and manage friendships online.

Therein lies the problem. I submit that if social networking sites contribute to the decline or deterioration of social skills, they inadvertently create an antisocial mindset in people as they navigate the real world because they become more adept at and comfortable with socializing in an online world.

If you were walking down the street, or sitting on a bus, and someone tapped you on the shoulder and said, “I’d like to add you as a friend,” you’d look at them like they were crazy, or at the very least, skeptically. Online, most people aren’t as discriminating about their friend selections as they are in real life, but they should be.

Friends have special privileges both online and offline. Offline you have to earn them. Online they are granted instantly. One of those privileges is knowing who your other friends are and what you’re doing. This comes in the form of “updates” which a surprising number of people use to post personal information and comments.

The screaming nature of My space (which is saturated with people eager to draw attention to themselves or their songs) makes it a favorite among a younger demographic of social media users.

Dr. Himanshu Tyagi, a psychiatrist at the West London Mental Health Trust, said in a recent report that people born after 1990, who were only five years old or younger when Internet use became widespread in 1995, grew up in a world dominated by online social networks such as MySpace and Facebook. He affirms:

“This is the age group involved in the Bridgend suicides and what many of these young people had in common was using the internet to communicate. It is a world where everything moves fast and changes all the time, where relationships are broken quickly at the click of a mouse, where you can delete your profile if you don’t like it and change an unacceptable identity in the blink of an eye to one that’s more acceptable,” said Dr. Tyagi. “People used to the fast pace of online social networking may soon find the real world boring and unstimulating, which could lead to more extreme behavior to get that sense.”

It has been my observation that most people don’t know who they are “friends” on MySpace. More commonly, people amass hordes of friends strictly for the sake of appearance: the appearance of being popular. So friends can get used both offline and online in that regard.

The 80/20 rule teaches us a lot about friends and the time invested in friendships (which is what really defines them). 80% of the correspondence you send to anyone on any social networking site will be sent to only 20% of the people you have on your “friend list”. Just as 80% of your time spent cultivating friendships will be spent with 20% of your friends. You are more likely to communicate with that 20% without the help of a social network.

Facebook, for lack of a better, if not more accurate description, has become the adult version of MySpace. As the real estate mantra says: build it and they will come. But social networks have a saying of their own: build it and they will use it for illegitimate purposes.

BJ Fogg, director of the Persuasive Tech Lab at Stanford University and editor of a book called The Psychology of Facebook He has spent years studying the phenomenon of social networks. He argues that what we’re doing on Facebook and other social networking sites is a lot like “primate” grooming. We are building “social solidarity” by flirting publicly and socializing online.

Yes, your suspicions are correct: the most illegitimate use of social networks is among people who are married or in an engaged couple who use them to track down old flames. Actually, that’s not the illegitimate part. The illegitimacy stems from the resulting clandestine relations that take place. There are a lot of social media renaissances going on… probably right now as you read this article.

According to Nancy Kalish, professor of psychology at Cal State Sacramento and author of the book Lovers Lost and Found: Facts and Fantasies of Romance Rekindled, many people try to meet online because it’s so easy,” says Kalish. “Most people search for lost love initially out of curiosity. First loves in particular are most often searched for online, he says, and they pose the greatest danger to real-world relationships for two reasons: biological and emotional.

First, he says, when two people meet in adolescence (between the ages of 16 and 22), they begin to form their identity together and become separated from the family. In those formative years, “you define what love is and what you want from a partner, and when you lose that, you lose that part of you.” This combines with the hormones that are coded in your brain at that age as “emotional memory” and creates a biological imprint of that person.

On top of all this chemistry, the teenage years are often the years when humans begin to reach reproductive maturity and search for biologically compatible mates. Kalish argues that this in turn causes problems because people are delaying marriage. She says, “We’re so far from marrying our first love because people wait until later in life to settle down. When they do settle down, often the chemistry just isn’t the same.”

Perhaps this is why in the Pew survey, of the adults who had removed their profile from a social networking site, 3 percent said they did so because their spouse or partner wanted it removed.

My favorite social networking site is LinkedIn. It is essentially an online portal for resumes. Like the others, it works on a membership/registration basis, but is geared towards professionals and professional networking. Unlike MySpace and Facebook, people lead with their credentials on LinkedIn, and the site regulates, discourages, and prevents abuse of the system by blocking those who receive repeated linking request rejections.

Its most distinctive feature is the recommendations that others make on your behalf to help you complete and promote your profile. LinkedIn’s business premise is simple: you must know at least 5 people with whom you have real relationships that can support you to make you a more valuable connection to others.

LinkedIn is not a welcoming social network, to take a chance, tell you about my weekend, post a stupid comment about what I just saw on TV. It’s for serious professionals who want to engage with reputable people without the levity and frivolity that are so common on social media. It is not designed for coexistence and making friends.

Another social network that is growing in popularity is Twitter. Twitter allows users to “follow” each other (i.e., keep abreast of each other’s activities) and is based on the exchange of brief updates that can be viewed online via its website or sent to you. they can send through their cell phone. I suspect that many artists and music professionals who regularly schedule events that the public, their fans or constituents should be aware of will use it more in the future.

Personally, I have yet to make a friend through any social networking site. I also don’t know anyone who has. I’m sure it happens. I have even been contacted by “friends” from my past. I’m hesitant to call them “friends” because I think it’s extremely rare to lose touch with a true friend.

Most of the time, when we lose touch with each other, it’s because we lacked the motivation or commitment to keep the friendship in the first place; therefore I tend to keep past “friends” in my past because that’s usually where they belong. Those who do not subscribe to this philosophy usually end up briefly reuniting with their former friends and parting ways once more.

For me, social media offers its greatest value from a professional capacity. They serve as a divider between my associates and my friends, while allowing me to communicate with both simultaneously. But in the end, they offer us a reminder of how valuable real friends and friendships are, if we can turn our faces away from computer screens long enough to realize it.