Some days I think my kids will drive me crazy. Some days I wonder what I was thinking of having two of them. Maybe we should have stuck with four legs and fur. And then there are days when they make you laugh like I haven’t laughed in years. They ask questions that I simply don’t have the answer to, or haven’t given the slightest thought to. And who said salespeople aren’t born, kids under 10 should win salesperson of the year awards.

But how do you really love yourself with your kids, when we can’t seem to find enough time to spend with the kids, ourselves, or our spouses? When I drive from lessons to games to the grocery store and running errands, oh and don’t forget to include work, it all gets a bit confusing.

Last week, while driving to another meeting, I tuned in to my favorite station as they host the annual Stollery Children’s Hospital telethon in Edmonton, AB. When my son was a year old, I really started to tune in to the stories being told on telethons, the people behind the scenes, the heartbreak that comes with any children’s hospital.

There was a family, whose son was in the hospital, that touched me. She begins by telling us that it was a normal day at the breakfast table, when her son pushed her chair away from the table and yelled that he “was done.” The chair tipped backwards, fell to the floor, and that moment changed her life as they knew it. After arriving at the Stollery, the doctors had told them that her son would not come out with anything more than a vegetative state. They went on to talk about the many surgeries, the moments of pain followed by the amazing miracles her son has given doctors and how she has come a long way since then, but her journey was far from over.

This was one of those stories that I connected with as a mom, as my son did a very similar eating routine when he was so proud to have finished his dinner. We were lucky parents, our son had never even had a cold and we never needed to take him to a hospital. That day I picked up the phone and made my first donation to Stollery and it felt good, like prepaying an amount on your credit card in hopes of never having to use it.

A year later our daughter was born and the doctors knew right away that it didn’t sound quite right, but they thought it was just her throat that hadn’t finished developing, they assured us it would heal itself, even though it had turned blue when she just I had a few hours. This was the beginning of a very emotional journey that lasted for the next 8 months. We visited many doctors, just waiting for them to tell us that she was in my head and that she really had “comparitis” and that I shouldn’t compare my children to each other. I shouldn’t worry so much. What I found hard to believe was that when a child turns blue two more times, what is that like in my head? No one had an answer and a nurse once said, “your child can’t talk and you are the only one who can and should continue to find out what is really wrong, and don’t stop until you are satisfied with the answer.” And that’s what led me to find more answers.

When we finally met with a Dr. de Stollery, he believed that babies shouldn’t turn blue and took the time to go over a few things. After that appointment, our daughter was scheduled for surgery in a few days. The doctors had prepared us for a long recovery and how to deal with everything from feeding tubes to stress. It turned out that she was another miracle baby who set a recovery record and follow up appointments were more routine than required and we were blessed with a child who was going to be “normal” from now on.

Back to everyday life, hectic and my doubt about how to make your children fall in love.

My answer to you, mom, is out there:

Listen, and I mean with all my heart, listen to those telethons and the stories that parents or grandparents tell about their children in the hospital. Some of these families have spent weeks in the ICU or years in and out of the hospital. They relocate their lives just to be closer to their children and the doctors who give them hope. Most parents talk about how they would give their own lives to prevent what their child is going through. Sometimes the hospital is the only “home” children have come to know or feel comfortable with. If a family or child connects emotionally with a nurse or doctor who truly cares and shares their pain, sadness, and those small moments of success, they are grateful. Yes, as I was listening I had to stop and wipe my eyes, because for me The Stollery is a hospital that I will never know how to thank or give back to my family. Being a consistent donor just doesn’t seem to justify what they did for my daughter, for that “what if” credit on my card.

After my meeting, I drove home, ran to my children, and gave them the biggest, strongest hug and kiss that ever existed. At that moment I really fell in love with them all over again and told them how much I loved them. I decided to finger paint instead of pointing, we danced and painted a blue shirt on the snowman they just made with their dad and stayed up late and read 5 books instead of the usual one. Do everything you can today with your children, in case tomorrow your life changes in an instant.

This is how you fall in love with your children, you see them as if they were a true gift from God, a gift that we give to the future.