You don’t hear this term much today, but in 1977 we did hear it a lot. She was part of the lyrics to Billy Joel’s hit song, “She She She She’s Always a Woman to Me”. Search the web for that song to see all the lyrics. It’s still a great song today. The lyrics talk to me about behaviors that I have found in women who have touched my life. What do you suppose Billy tells us when he says of the woman he sings about, “The most he’ll ever do is throw shadows at you?”

I have read some treatises on meaning. One of them is that she is in the spotlight or sees herself as a rock star. She doesn’t see her man. She only gets the shadow of her. My analysis: That doesn’t work for me. Another is that she is a shadowy person, that she casts her shadow over her man, to bring him down. My analysis: I don’t like that one either. A third is that she wants to hit her man sometimes, she throws air punches or punch shadows at him, with the intention of hurting her pride, self-esteem or her ego, but not to maim him. My analysis: No. I don’t think so.

She does not give value or substance. Maybe. I can see that in her mind, she always falls short of what he expects her to be or what he thinks she could be. She is a shadow of perfection to him. Does she turn her back on you sometimes? Perhaps, but not in her hour of need. She may be a survivor, someone who has been hurt by men before, so now she can’t or won’t commit to a man: her man only gets her shadow. Worse yet, she doesn’t know who she is. A shadow is the best she can do. My analysis: She’s not perfect, she’s moody, stubborn at times, she doesn’t like to be controlled, she will exert control over her man, but she’s her woman and she knows it.

So, I’ve decided that this song is about a woman who knows who she is, knows what she wants, but updates her wish list from time to time and expects her man to automatically update his ability to provide. In that, he lets her down, but she doesn’t want him to ever see that she’s let down or hurt. She will not reveal a vulnerability. Thus, she casts shadows, or confusion when she feels cornered. He does not understand this behavior. But, that’s the effect she wants. She sneaks out of the corner, while he is confused, and continues to live her life as if nothing ever happened.