When the doctor left the room and announced the passing of Naa’ila the cry of my voice certainly reached the outskirts of the city. In the middle of that night in late October 2014, I screamed at the sky the sudden passing of my beloved young and beautiful daughter. That same moment of unfathomable excruciating pain contained its corollary: a pure state of bliss, of clear connection to some heavenly force that pulled me out of reality. I no longer had feet, I couldn’t feel the ground or the physical limits of my body. I had a special strength that made me walk, speak and act. The following days passed quickly, full of people, crowds of colleagues and friends coming and going, helping or crying. In the middle of the impulse he kept repeating the same phrase: life goes on, if I stop teaching, the energy stops and if the energy stops, life stops. Life must go on and I will continue teaching.

That day, twenty people sat in lotus and waited for class to start. I did the class with the intention of sharing the breath of life, the thread that keeps us all alive, the thread of prana. Since that day, many events have unfolded at a rapid pace and the time is near to begin sharing the heightened states of consciousness that I am experiencing.

The way yoga helps me cope with pain from day one is still a story that unfolds; however, I can share some interesting aspects:

– Deep connection with prana: I can instantly switch to another lens of experience and live yoga from the roots of any of its petals (ethics, focus, posture, concentration, meditation, bliss);

– Discipline: the more I practice, the less I bear the pain as a great weight, I can cry during a practice and it can explode at any moment, but crying is not pain but relief;

– I find harmony, balance and strength as well as routine in practice: routine discipline gives me focus to take care of myself;

– The ego is gone: I practice because I need to do something. The practice is all I have to share, the purpose.

In this current incarnation, my life has taken several paths. Like the branches of a banyan tree, most of them have given birth to beautiful healthy green leaves, and as in the natural cycle of nature, there has also been a change. Green leaves turn brown and fall off, making room for other growing buds. Approximately four to five changes have been developed. From dancer to international corporate manager and humanitarian worker to holistic healer, life coach and yoga instructor, I have brought to life a beautiful mixed race daughter who grew up as a third culture girl, set up a healing studio and developed a studio. wider. vision of establishing a complete Yoga and Wellness studio in unusual geographical areas for a healing business: Burkina Faso.

My daughter was a beautiful, strong and healthy being, intelligent and cheerful, patient and elegant. Experiencing his sudden death on my own hands in just about twelve hours due to a high fever, I shuffled all the cards in my life with no exceptions. It also triggered the immediate and expanded use of all the healing tools acquired and learned in the last two decades. In addition, it propelled my life onto a deeper path of self-discovery. The sale of all the belongings, the delivery of the study, my daughter turned to ashes here I was with two small suitcases and a trip to go deeper.

I am writing this post from the foothills of the Himalayas where I have attended a yogi initiation course. By the time I leave this place, thirteen weeks will have passed during which I will surely have known new tools, but I will have learned to mourn my loneliness in silence and I will have cleared some foundations to establish a new path in my journey: Solo Mama Yogi Journey. I miss my partner like the sea would miss the water, but I know that she listens to me, sees me and even visits us here. Then I am at peace. I am learning to live in a reality where Naaila it is always present in your absence.

Namaste everyone!