I’ve avoided baby showers for years because the tradition has always seemed a bit ridiculous to me. The baby shower games meant to embarrass the mother-to-be, the gag gifts, the petty themes…it’s always left me feeling like we’re ditching our young women just when they need all the support and encouragement they can get. .

But recently I was literally dragged to the most unusual shower I’ve ever been to, and my discontent vanished; it was a holistic baby shower that didn’t bother with cheesy baby shower games and replaced them with real rites of passage. I’d like to share how a young mom-to-be named Jenny put this event together and spread the word about the next generation of baby shower ideas, which can be honest and authentic, and still a lot of fun.

Jenny told me that she wanted a “ceremony, not a shower.” She expressed her intention to put on a stronger event that will help prepare her to cross the threshold of motherhood with the support of other women, and especially older women, in her community.

“No silly games,” he said, “and please, no truth and dare.” From there, her friends organized the event, including sending out the invitations and preparing the food.

I knew it was a different kind of shower the moment I walked in. The living room was set up with an altar space in the middle of the room, surrounded by layers in the round. We were instructed to each bring a single flower for Jenny, which we placed in the vase in the center of the altar.

Pomegranates, pineapples, and oranges were stacked against the vase: each of which are ancient and powerful symbols of fertility and pregnancy. The room smelled of spices and incense. they entered me

The baby shower really started when all the women talked about their experiences with motherhood. It was a great and fun collection of stories, straight from the heart. To balance this, a glass container was passed around and fears of being a new mother were expressed. Later, this bowl was also placed on the altar, expressing the healthy role of fear in becoming a father. Nobody was without a dry eye at this stage.

Then the music began, some traditional singers with drums and flutes. They all started dancing and laughing again. Meanwhile, a couple of women laid her mother-to-be in a comfortable chair and massaged her head, shoulders, and back. The atmosphere was free, intimate and full of trust.

It was then that the food was distributed on a couple of carts on wheels: delicious snacks and small sandwiches, as well as fruits and chocolates. She couldn’t believe how much fun she was having.

The most innovative baby shower idea was for each guest to write a blessing on a small piece of parchment, which was then strung together as a jagged prayer flag. The best part: Jenny then hung the “blessing banner” in the delivery room when she was giving birth. So all of our blessings were present, even though we weren’t physically there. Jenny recently told me how this gave her a deep sense of security when she walked into the hospital room that day. She said that she could feel our love surrounding her and giving her strength.

As you can see, this was not your standard baby shower! Each of the guests, including myself, left feeling that we had given something. of us, as well as the traditional baby gifts that we leave for opening at a later time. And the mother-to-be seemed so relaxed when we said our goodbyes. We had done our job.

This holistic baby shower idea is truly a gift from the community, just like baby showers used to be at the turn of the century. So if you’re thinking about taking a shower and want something a little different than the usual baby shower games, you can be sure that there are alternatives.

Express your intention to your trusted friends and step over the threshold of motherhood with new rites of passage that are full of heart and spirit.