If you find yourself wondering, Why am I always tired?, the answer could be within your own personality. There’s a difference between kindly helping where you’re needed and being obsessed with pleasing people. People’s nice behaviors can make you feel tired to the point of not being able to please anyone. Here are the traits of a people pleaser and what to do if your kindness has crossed the line and you’ve become an unhealthy people pleaser.

Characteristics of a people pleaser?

Pleasers are more than just kind souls who occasionally act helpfully towards others. if you’re wondering Why am I always tired? and feeling an obsessive need to continually help others, your helpful nature may be crossing the line into dangerous people-pleasing. Here are some traits of a people pleaser:

• Organized
• loved
• appeasers, tend to give in
• Friendly
• Gregarious
• helpful and supportive
• Feel the need to keep it all “together”
• Encouraging
• Funny, he feels the need to be funny all the time.
• go along with others
• Creative, talented, capable
• socially popular
• Accept delegation – sometimes unable to say no
• Accused of “always smiling”
• Generous
• Cooperative
• Concern for the welfare of others
• people mixers
• active in conversation

All of these traits sound like good traits, right? Who wouldn’t want to be appreciated or thought of as a supportive and encouraging friend? These traits in themselves are not dangerous, but it is the feelings behind these traits that identify whether a helpful person has turned into an obsessive pleaser.

The emotional truth behind a people-pleasing personality

People’s agreeable behaviors are often rooted in emotional problems that are symptoms of deep insecurities. These people have an obsessive need to please others. They fear losing personal identity, friends, popularity, or approval. They become obsessed with disappointing family or friends and often feel inferior to others. The complacent fear not doing the best they can. They feel disappointed when they let another person down and deny their insecurity.

At the same time, people pleasers often feel unappreciated and like they are being treated like victims or doormats. They rarely see how their feelings can be self-influenced. They have “martyr syndrome” so to speak, which is a desire to play the martyr, taking one for the team, even though they are tired of doing it and find themselves resenting it.

The most important thing to note about people’s likable personalities is that things are not always as they seem with this person. They worry they’ll find out they’re not as good as they seem, and in fact, they often aren’t. (Who’s perfect, after all?) Although they appear neat and organized, they’re usually disorganized behind the scenes. Although they seem to have everything under control, they are often exhausted, tired, and break down under the pressure when no one is looking. Only those closest to them see the truth.

When feeling tired is the result of pleasing people

feeling tired is probably the understatement of the century for a person pleaser who is absolutely at their wits’ end. You feel tired because you are tired, you are absolutely exhausted and unable to keep all the balls in the air any longer. Your obsessive need to make people happy is not a good quality at all, but it has become a reason for self-pity, depression, even low self-esteem when you don’t feel validated by what you do and exhaustion. You are in a chronic state of feeling unappreciated.

People dealing with this emotional disability experience burnout and lack the ability to maintain healthy relationships with family and friends. They are immobilized by irrational beliefs and fear that they are not achieving enough to make others happy. They often feel that people are not happy with them, interpreting little things that people say and hearing a statement that is worse than what was actually said. Criticism of a people pleaser is like a stab to the heart.

These people also cannot trust the sincerity of others when they hear a compliment. They often shrug off praise as a sign of false humility. They begin to lose their own personal identity, replacing it with the identity of mom, wife, father, husband, colleague, vice president, etc., etc. At some point, the person who once made bold decisions becomes immobilized by the pleasant traits of previous people, and he loses his ability to make decisions, and cannot even relax.

Overcoming people pleasure is a long-term strategy for dealing with exhaustion. One of the best ways to start overcoming fatigue, depression, and martyr syndrome is to do something for yourself. The ideal answer is to start living a healthier life; adding physical activity and a nutritionally balanced meal plan to your day is something you can do for yourself. Also, consider herbal supplements that are carefully created to help you overcome fatigue and live a healthier life.

How to turn nice people into something positive

If you’re tired of feeling tired all the time and want to make a change, the answer is not to just stop doing things for people. Becoming a cold person who doesn’t care about others won’t make you feel better at all. Instead, turn some of the negative things your people like into helpful, positive attributes by following a few simple tips.

1) Instead of feeling self-deprecating, start by embracing your personal strengths and attributes. It’s okay to know what you’re good at and feel confident about those things within yourself, without the need for constant validation.

2) If you find yourself addicted to approval and afraid of being rejected, try increasing your habits of self-affirmation and positive self-approval. Accept your own worth, regardless of what others feel or think of you. Try not to look for approval in things like what you do and what you wear, but instead make decisions based on your own strengths, the ones you know you have.

3) Instead of stepping up to be the martyr, choose to stop putting yourself in situations where your own needs are ignored. It’s okay to protect your rights. Choose not to be a victim of others. Say yes when you want and have time to do it, not all the time.

4) Recognize that you are a success, no matter how you perform on a specific task. Your self-esteem does not depend on doing well or on your achievements. If you fail, just turn the failures into a growth opportunity for the next time.

5) Stop being so hard on yourself! Self-punishing behavior, whether physical or emotional, is quite debilitating in the long run. Instead try to relax, have fun, play and enjoy life. Everyone messes up sometimes, and the world won’t end if you do too.

If your fatigue is related to being a people pleaser, start living a healthier lifestyle inside and out today. Take care physically and emotionally. Protect your time and respect your own value.