Like their husbands, Mary Todd Lincoln and Varina Davis Howell had much in common. Both were first ladies of countries besieged by war. Both women grew up in prosperous slave-owning families. Both were well educated, better educated, in fact, than most women at the time. Both were often ridiculed and intensely hated by those who worked closely with their husbands. Although the Civil War divided them, Mary Todd Lincoln and Varina Davis Howell were more alike than different.

Mary Todd Lincoln

Mary Todd Lincoln was born in Lexington, Kentucky in 1813 to Robert Todd, a well-to-do merchant and state senator who was eminent in Lexington. Her father, unusually for the time, insisted that Mary get an education; Consequently, eight-year-old Mary was sent to the Shelby Female Academy and completed her education at Madame Victorie Mentelle’s Select Academy for Young Ladies, near her home in Lexington.

After finishing her education, Mary went to Illinois to live with her sister, Elizabeth, the wife of a prominent Springfield citizen. Due to her sister’s social position, Mary was introduced into Illinois society, where she enjoyed the status of a beautiful young woman. Two of the suitors who courted her in Illinois were Stephen A. Douglas and Abraham Lincoln.

It was Lincoln who won Mary’s heart, and after a tortuous engagement, opposed by his family and broken up at least once, Mary and Abraham Lincoln were finally married in 1842.

Mary’s life as the wife of a poor rural lawyer would have contrasted sharply with her upbringing; The Lincolns’ first home as newlyweds was an $8-a-week room at a tavern. However, despite the hardships, the Lincolns were happy and had four children together: Robert Todd, born in 1843, Edward Baker, born in 1846, William Wallace, born in 1850, and Thomas, known as Tad, in 1853. She lose two of these sons, Eddie and Willie, in infancy.

Mary Todd Lincoln was as politically ambitious for her husband as he was for himself. In addition to keeping up with the political news of the day, discussing politics with him—and influencing many of his views—hers, she was convinced that one day she would be president.

She supported her husband in his position as a member of the House of Representatives, and when he ran for president, she used her connections and education to dispel the notion that she and her husband were ignorant, a popular notion at a time when few presidents came from the “west”.

Mary assumed her position as first lady in anything but a welcoming atmosphere. Mary was thought by many to be a spy from the South, even though she herself was a strong supporter of both the Union and the abolition of slavery. Her fickle temperament convinced many that she was crazy, and her lavish entertainments in the White House during the war caused others to perceive her as flighty.

The death of her son Willie in 1862 and Lincoln’s assassination in 1865 were blows from which Mary Todd Lincoln never fully recovered. Her mental and physical health deteriorated drastically. At one point, she was confined to an insane asylum. She died in 1882, having outlived all but one of her children, devastated by the losses she had suffered.

Varina Howell-Davis

Born in 1826 on her family’s prosperous Mississippi plantation, Varina Howell, like Mary Todd Lincoln, enjoyed an education that many women of the day were denied. Educated by a private tutor, then at an exclusive graduate school in Philadelphia, Varina grew up interested in both politics and literature.

While returning from school for Christmas, Varina puts on Jefferson Davis. Davis, a widower who was 36 to Varina’s 17, began courting Varina, a courtship his parents strongly opposed, both because of their age difference and because of Davis’s political beliefs: he was a Democrat, the Howell were Whigs.

Despite her parents’ opposition, Varina and Davis were married in 1845. They had six children. Davis, then Secretary of War, spent a lot of time in Washington, and Varina joined him there, where she gained a reputation for being a wonderful hostess and, at the same time, helping her husband with her political aspirations. .

When Davis was elected president of the Confederate States of America, he and Varina moved from Mississippi to Richmond, Virginia, the capital of the Confederacy. Her influence over Davis was such that some of her commanders and cabinet ministers not only feared and resented her, but found that being in her good place was not only helpful but essential.

Like Mary Todd Lincoln, Varina Howell Davis came under wartime scrutiny. She was also criticized for entertaining at the Confederate White House during the era: some criticized her for entertaining too much, others claimed that she did not entertain enough. Her family’s Northern roots — her grandfather had been a multi-term governor of New Jersey — caused her loyalty to be questioned, and her outspoken gossip led to her being labeled rude. .

After the war, the Davises’ fortunes immediately declined. Jefferson Davis was jailed for a while (Varina actually joined him there for a while, not because of any wrongdoing on his part, but to be close to him), and Varina worked tirelessly to free him and restore her family’s rights. under the duress of Reconstruction. . She supported herself by writing her memoirs and pieces for periodicals after her husband’s death in 1889. She died in 1905, having outlived all but one of her children, still bitter about the treatment her family received afterward. from the war.