Sometimes I hear from women who are engaged and have found out that their fiancé has cheated on them. Sometimes this happens at the bachelor party and other times, it happens randomly, but while the engagement is active.

Understandably, many of these women consider breaking off the engagement and not continuing with the marriage. After all, if he cheats on you while you’re engaged, won’t he cheat on you once you’re married? Isn’t “once a cheater always a cheater” almost always true? Shouldn’t you exit while the obtain is good? Why would you go through with a marriage with a man who is cheating on you before there are actually any stressors in the marriage?

Someone might say, “I was ready to get married and then I got an instant message on Facebook from my fiancé’s ex-girlfriend saying that her conscience was telling her to admit that my soon-to-be husband has been coming over to her house and sleeping with her for the last two years.” months. She said it started when he basically contacted her to tell her he was engaged and, in a sense, close and say goodbye. They met for dinner and one thing led to another. She admits that he broke up a few weeks ago. She admits that he told her that he was very guilty for what they had done and that he was committed to me and that he could never see her again so i’m not sure what his motivation was in coming forward now but i’m kind of glad he did done because that’s something I needed to know Of course I confronted my fiancé about this and he admitted it but he’s been following me crying about how he can’t lose me Well maybe he should have considered this before calling his ex . My first inclination was to end the engagement and never see him again. And this is what I told him I was going to do. I wasn’t trying to scare him. I was being totally honest. That was my plan. But then I went a few weeks without him and he was calling me and recruiting all of our mutual friends to help him out. That’s when I started to change my mind very slightly and opened my mind to the idea of ​​just postponing the engagement. But many of my friends tell me that I am crazy. They say that if a man cheats on you during your engagement, he will definitely cheat on you during your marriage. They are right?”

I don’t know anyone who can successfully predict the future. However, infidelity before marriage is not the best sign. That being said, I suspect that healing from this infidelity is going to be the same as if you were actually married. After all, when you’re committed, the commitment is still there. Sure, it’s not as big of a commitment as being married, but it’s very serious.

To be confident that this will not happen again, you will have to work hard to find out why it happened, find a way to prevent it from happening again, and restore trust and goodwill. Your fiancé has to be willing to take an honest look at his motivations and behaviors. What made him approach the other woman in the first place? Once they crossed the line once, why did she go back again? Was she going to confess or would you never have found out if the other woman hadn’t told you?

All these questions need to be answered and then the work really begins. I highly recommend getting advice. That may seem overwhelming or not very fun. But it’s much better to go ahead and do it than to live with a troubled marriage. At the very least, good self-help is needed. Very few people have the skills to see the problems needed to heal the relationship on their own. Most people just can’t be objective enough or see their relationship the way it’s meant to be seen.

But to answer the original question. Cheating once doesn’t always mean cheating again. However, it is a warning sign. And you have enough knowledge of this warning sign that it may be prudent to make sure you do all the necessary work until you feel completely comfortable going through with the wedding. There’s no point in getting into something that you know may be a problem in the future when you have the time and forethought to avoid it, and work until you feel completely comfortable moving forward with the wedding.