“Courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day that says, ‘I’ll try again tomorrow.’

~Mary Anne Radmacher

MY ESSENTIAL ACTION STEPS

As I struggled and wrestled with my grievance and loss, I kept a journal. THE FOLLOWING EXCERPTS ARE FROM MY DIARY – 15 STEPS THAT HELPED ME UNDERSTAND AND CONQUER MY GRIEVING. Writing in my journal helped me find a new purpose and more peace and joy. They were personalized healing pep talks for me and they can be for you too:

1-MAKE A CONSCIOUS EFFORT FOR SIXTEEN THE FLOWER PETALS OF RENEWAL AND REBIRTH

I understand that my renewal and rebirth begin and end with me. How can I start now? How I do it is a personal matter but it is vital to find happiness, new peace and joy. The more diligently you do it, with constancy and sincere effort, the greater will be the possibility of inspiration from you and from God. I am going to reflect deeply on all the steps I could take to renew hope and be reborn in a fuller life.

2-COUNT MY MOMENTS OF GRATEFULNESS

I will be specific. Some blessings will be big and some will be small. As I count my blessings, I am amazed at how many things I am grateful for. I will count my blessings one by one.

Realizing what I am grateful for will give me strength in times of discouragement. Acting on my intentions to be grateful can bring rich blessings. I will practice gratitude every day to foster appreciation in my life. Today I will write at least five things in my journal that I am grateful for today and my wonderful life experiences.

3-PAIN NEVER ENDS

Grief is a passage of time, not a place to stay. However, you may never fully heal and completely forget about your pain. The morning can continue. The reconciliation of your painful condition harmonizes the grief you experience. This leads to healing. Do your best to use every moment of each day to work through loss, pain, and sadness.

4-PAIN IS THE PRICE OF LIVING THROUGH THE CIRCUMSTANCES OF LIFE.

“The journey between what you once were and what you are now becoming is where the dance of life really takes place.”

~ Barbara De Angelis

When my grievance engulfed me, my life was forever altered. The grievance is not a lack of faith, nor a sign of weakness. What I do with my complaint is my choice alone. Understanding my complaint and what I can do to heal myself helps me start my healing journey to a healthier and happier place in my life. I will continue to take steps to understand and reconcile my complex complaint. I’m going to start today.

5-CHANCE

Grief, mourning and mourning provide new opportunities to learn about oneself. You might reflect: As long as I allow myself to cry and take time to feel sorry for myself, my grievance continues. Reconciliation and acceptance make my complaint break out less frequently. I will try to think about the opportunity I have as “the new me”. I will believe in my potential happiness. It is essential that I make the most of the challenges in my life. Even for those of us who have been disabled, it is possible to have more peace, joy, and a richer, more fulfilling life. I will fill my life with happy moments.

6-RE-EVALUATE MY PERSPECTIVE

Try to think: I will assess what has changed and explore what is still possible for me after my life-changing event. I’ll start by acknowledging that some of the changes that have occurred in my life as a result of my experiences are likely to be permanent. I will reflect on the actions I can take in the coming week that will propel me toward greater happiness and peace. I will acknowledge the possibility that my new path will reveal itself as I progress.

7-FIND A COMPLAINT PARTNER

Trying to work through my pain on its own will hinder or slow my progress and can even cause me to become severely depressed due to loneliness and isolation. It is essential that I seek support from others and find ways to express my needs. Joan is my ever present companion. Perhaps other relationships are essential for my well-being and happiness. Sometimes all I need to do is ask. But I must ask questions like: “I need you to spend time with me and here are my needs…” Sometimes I will cry with someone, sometimes it can be more healing than crying alone. Great comfort and peace, even hope, can come to those who know they have someone to turn to in times of need, need, and deep sadness.

8-I AM NOT ALONE

Because of my deep pain, it can be extremely difficult for me to believe that there can be hope, joy, and peace in my life right now. As I go through this time of grievance in my life, I will be aware that while my grievance journey is unique, I will take comfort in the hope and wisdom of those who have walked the grievance path before me. I will use as role models literally thousands of people who have reason to grieve and have overcome obstacles to give me hope. I am not alone. I will think of ways in which their actions have been examples to me. I will search the internet for stories of how others have successfully overcome their difficult challenges. May these examples empower me.

9-TAKE ADVANTAGE OF EVERY POSITIVE MOMENT

I will embrace every positive moment and opportunity, and by doing so, I will be better able to find healing, harmony, hope, peace, and joy in life. Peace and joy go together. I will not allow the offense to take away my faith in God, my love of life and, most importantly, my hope. I will not be lazy; I will be proactive every day in seeking every hopeful and beneficial moment of every possibility of inner peace. Every day I will look for positive moments that I can embrace or include in my activities.

10-GO BACK WITHIN AND BE COMPASSIONATE

Right now, figuring out how to turn inward and be compassionate with myself is perhaps one of my most important needs. Accepting my feelings of loss is essential to my survival and future happiness. The complaint of my life-altering circumstance will never completely go away. Learning to reconcile my life after a time of loss requires ongoing self-care and loving attention to enable me to move past my grievance. Today I will consider ways to self-nourish the feeling in my heart.

11-RECONNECT WITH MY PASSIONS

Due to agony and pain, I find myself temporarily withdrawing from people, places, or things that I used to enjoy. I must consider all the people, places or things that have brought me the greatest joy and satisfaction in my life. How many of these people, places, or things can still be a part of my life now? Make a plan. Schedule some time each day to get involved in something, or with someone, that you have enjoyed in the past. Give me the gift of something to look forward to every day. I will consider the ones that resonate with me the most and support my healing. I will embrace the solutions that can support my healing. I will take action today and always.

13-ACCEPT THE CHALLENGE TO WIN YOUR DUEL

Metaphorically, tort can be like a hailstorm. It is an unusual and unexpected event. It can cause serious damage. Sadness and pain often start out small, but like hail, your grievance can suddenly grow from a raindrop to the size of a pea and the size of a golf ball, even a hard ball, traveling 90 miles. per hour. Like the hail that causes approximately a billion dollars in damage per year to property and crops, my horrible complaint has damaged my life. I accept the challenge to overcome the hail of grievances in my life. The hail melts my pain and my grief.

14- UNDERSTAND THE POWER OF MY PAIN

The severe tort has caused me to experience deep pain. I am learning that to reconcile my grievance I must journey through my grievance. I can’t help the grievance, hoping it will go away. All the words spoken and all the words written cannot remove my grievance. One of the best ways to understand the grievance that has entered my life is to express outwardly what I feel inside. The grievance is a feeling of my heart. I can’t instantly get over it or turn it around. The forces of grievance require that I deal with my grievance. The harsh reality is that there has been a permanent change in my life. Now I must deal with a new me and different circumstances. To move on to a happier and more fulfilling life I must understand my grievance. Once I clearly understand my unique personal grievance, I can heal.

15-DEFINE MY INTENTIONS TO HEAL

Healing my grievance is all encompassing. It is a commitment to cause a desired consequence. In my case, it requires my focus, my full attention to my deep pain in such a way that it produces and introduces bits of happiness and hope back into my life. I must take action to make this happen over and over again, day by day. I can’t solve my complaint in one fell swoop. Healing requires active actions. Passive hope is not a meaningful option. When I define my intentions, I truly commit myself wholeheartedly to getting over my grievance.