If you’re a single woman in your 40s and you’ve recently started dating a great guy who you think might be the man for you, congratulations!

You have successfully navigated to meet him and have the first date and a few more. Maybe the two of you have gotten over the initial little chat and started discussing a relationship together. Now what?

First of all, now that you are 40 years old, remember, you have all the time in the world. There is no need to rush towards exclusivity. Before committing to a relationship with this great guy, ask yourself, “Am I ready to get out of the dating group?”

Before retiring from the “after 40” dating scene, you need to make sure you’ve done a few things to be sure of what you’re doing.

How many mature men have you considered?

Have you met and dated at least 10 men in the last year? If it’s close to that number, that’s fine. 10 is just a guide. It is not a strict requirement.

What types of men over 40 have you dated?

Also, have you allowed yourself to consider some very different men than the ones you dated in your 20s and 30s? Now that you are 40 years old, some of your husband’s requirements may still be the same as when you were younger. However, their order of priority may be different.

Let me give you an example. If you are now a divorced single mom, then you are not looking for great potential father material. His children hopefully still have their father. What you are looking for now is a man who is a good stepfather. A good stepfather is usually more of a part-time job than a full-time job, unless the father of your children is no longer around. This is just to illustrate how your life is different now than when you are in your 20s.

Does your man have time to share with you?

Also, now that you are 40 years old, you have an established career. You may not be looking for a man with huge earning potential because now you have that financial security and status yourself! What does that mean to you now for your mate selection after 40? Naturally, you want a financially stable man. You also want a man who has enough time and outside interests to share with you and be an interesting life partner, right?

Now that you’ve considered what you want in a relationship, and if you’re saying yes to most of these questions, then, yes, of course, agree to be exclusive! When the two of you start a relationship, remember to share both fun nights out and daily life activities, like shopping together. Have fun and let me know how it goes.