Mental Masturbation and How to Break Addiction Pt 1

Is your brain going but you’re getting nowhere?

Right now, either you are laughing and nodding your head in acknowledgment or you are completely offended.

~ If you are the first, keep reading, I have an ‘a-ha’ for you!

~ If you’re the last one, well what can I say, I’m sorry I offended you but we’re all adults here. I also did not think that I would write anything with the word masturbation.

I don’t remember the first time I used this term, but actually I thought I made it up. It perfectly describes a state I used to go into (and still do sometimes) with friends where we spend ridiculous amounts of time analyzing ourselves and our thought patterns and trying to ‘figure out our lives’, hoping to have a big reveal that will solve. everything.

So when I sat down to write this article (the title came to mind yesterday while training a private client), I Googled “mental masturbation” and guess what ~ it’s in the Urban Dictionary!

There are about 10 definitions, but this is the perfect one for the purposes of this article: (for more fun, read the other definitions, especially the sample conversations)

Mental masturbation “The act of engaging in useless but intellectually stimulating conversation, usually as an excuse to avoid taking constructive action in your life.”

Here’s the part that is really interesting to me “usually as an excuse to avoid taking constructive action in your life.”

That was the revelation I had a few years ago. I would spend hours talking on the phone with friends, talking about different ideas for our businesses, projects that really appealed to us, and things we hate. We shared quotes from books we were reading, insights gained from the gurus, and got insights into what held each of us back in our businesses and our lives.

I would finally press ‘end call’, hundreds of minutes later, my ear burned red and hot, letting out a deep, exhausted but deliciously satisfied ‘ahhhhhh’ and thinking, “That was great, I’m so excited about all these new ideas and no I can wait to start with them. “

At that point, my husband would walk through the door or it was time to go pick up the kids from school, my ‘work day’ was over and what had I really accomplished?

Any. Any. Zero. Zippo.

That’s right. I spent countless hours having these incredible, intellectually stimulating conversations, but I wasn’t taking much action. Mental masturbation

This is my theory:

We have become addicted to “aha!” moment. When the lightbulb goes out while we are sitting in a seminar or listening to an audio program or reading a new book, it is like an orgasm! It feels so cool! We have discovered it, the missing link, the nugget of knowledge that will make everything fall into place, our life will make sense, the world will finally recognize our greatness, and our bank account will triple. Ahhhhhhh, that feels good.

When we put the book down, go back to the office, or try to get back to work, it feels bored. We don’t feel the same energy, the euphoria is gone. So we go looking for the next ‘aha’ moment, the next intellectual orgasm.

You can get out of this cycle. You can stop sabotaging yourself when you realize that it’s just your brain, doing those busy things, with the mind of a monkey that keeps you searching for the next high.

I’d like to make a distinction here – let’s differentiate Masterminding, which is an amazing tool to increase your bottom line and add fuel to your business and life from mental masturbation. You will know that you are addicted to intellectual euphoria, if you are having a lot of great and stimulating conversations, but your business is not growing or your life seems strangely unsatisfying.

This is what to do:

If you can connect with the ideas and projects in front of you today, create your own urgency and enthusiasm instead of waiting for your brain to fire, if you can get going on your life and your business right now.

That’s when you will find your magical G-spot. (G = greatness, beautiful and grateful)

Next time, I have some tips for you on how to break your mental masturbation addiction, stop avoiding constructive action, and GET TURNED ON in your business and your life. Grrrrrrrrrrr, baby!

~ Have a fabulous weekend, Dahhhhlings ~