How to tell if your husband is watching pornography behind your back

As a former porn addict, I want to help you identify specific behaviors that might indicate that you like it. I cannot guarantee that they are a complete list or that they absolutely mean that you are using, but they will help you notice the behaviors.

Do you have a private computer that you are not allowed to use? Sometimes you will have a private computer or laptop with which you are very protective. If you have a computer that you use for fun or a hobby and you don’t let anyone else use it, you could be hiding porn on it. This is sometimes confirmed if you use it in a private place, hide the screen, and don’t like to share what you use the computer for.

Do you usually stay up late at the computer after you go to bed? My dad once said nothing good happens when you stay out after midnight. Anything done late at night on a computer is not good overall either. Try to see how much time you spend on the computer waiting or checking the Internet history. Ask him what he was doing and check it out. If you’re sneaking out of bed in the middle of the night, this is bad news. I used to do this when I needed a porn fix.

Is your smartphone, iPod or iPad banned for you? Being overprotective of one of these devices can be a sign that you are hiding your porn use. These devices have stored history just like computers, but they are private devices for him. As something that is private to him, he will feel more comfortable without deleting history and could even bookmark or use apps that take him to the porn that he likes. If he has nothing to hide, you can pick up his phone and he shouldn’t flinch.

Does he resist your advances towards him to make love? I’m not one to reject my wife if she makes the first move. Generally, the man takes the first step because he needs sex more than his wife. If your husband regularly rejects you for having sex, it may be because you are wasted. A man’s sexual appetite builds until it is released and then starts all over again from scratch. If he uses porn regularly, he won’t have any appetite left for you and may interpret it as tiredness. If this is a frequent pattern, I would be suspicious.

When you make love, does he suggest you try unusual or uncomfortable things? Porn teaches men that women love it when men do crazy things to them. Pornography also teaches men that women are there to serve men. If your husband forces you to try new and unusual things that you don’t want, he may be learning them by watching pornography. It’s okay to spice things up once in a while, but your biggest concern should be your feelings and comfort.

There are other signs that your husband may be using pornography, but this list is not meant to be exhaustive. The secret and suspicious behaviors described above do not necessarily mean that you are definitely using pornography. Use your best judgment and try not to jump to conclusions. If you falsely accuse him, your relationship could be damaged.

If he is really using porn, work with him to help him stop doing it because it is detrimental to your marriage.