Although loss and resulting injury is a condition of existence, few realize that it takes a devastating physical toll on the bereaved. This is due to the fact that many people who are grieving a divorce or the death of a loved one often have cold or flu symptoms, or end up with severe headaches or an upset stomach.

For over 40 years I have taught that for every thought and emotion we have there is a corresponding physical manifestation of that thought or emotion at the cellular level. In terms of grief, the constant stressful thoughts of life without the deceased, poor eating habits, and inability to sleep often result in a compromised immune system and eventually some form of illness.

What can be done to move forward and reduce the emotional and physical stress associated with grief? Here are seven approaches to consider in coping with your loss or helping someone else you’re supporting.

1. Everyone needs physical outlets for emotional stimuli. This is because the anxiety and tension of grief manifests itself in muscle tissue. Therefore, as difficult as it may be, it is helpful to incorporate some form of exercise into your self-care plan. Go for a walk, do yoga, find some way to get your heart rate up. Depression will be minimized, an increase in endorphins will improve your mood and you will regain some of your energy and stamina.

I know you’ve heard all about exercise, but don’t make the mistake of minimizing the great importance of this means of reducing stress in the long hall. A 10-minute walk is all it takes, and if you add a friend, all the better. We need each other.

2. Make sure you take a rest period every day. You may feel fatigued due to lack of sleep (which is quite normal) or people trying to keep you company or on the go for most of the day. Insist on being alone for a short period of relaxation. Find a quiet place in your home, put your feet up, and scan your body for any tense areas. When you locate one, visualize exhaling your light-filled breath through the tense area. Feel the feeling of release. Remember: do this every day.

3. Fake it until you make it. Caroline Myss, the medical intuitive, said, “Most people suffer not because of what others have done to them, but because of what they do to themselves.” You always have the power to choose which thoughts you will allow to dominate your thinking and stress levels. Use the tagline “fake it until you make it” as a reminder that you can periodically act as you wish and change the constant painful thoughts for loving thoughts about the deceased and what you learned from meeting them. . The mental change will affect the physical feelings.

4. On the other hand, don’t make the mistake of running from your pain all the time. You will add stress to your life. Ups and downs are necessary and natural to grief. You can overdo the tips to keep yourself busy. Crying and facing the pain is better advice. Then try a distraction or rest.

5. Try water therapy or a massage. Soaking in a hot tub can provide much-needed relief from the stress and anxiety of grief. Or put some scented liquid soap in your bathtub and relax in the warm water. At the very least, allow your shower to provide some release each day. Also, at the right time try a massage. Massage and the power of touch regulate the body’s natural chemicals that affect mood. You will feel the change of energy.

6. Nutrition helps you control stress. If you don’t feel like eating, try drinking a liquid meal. Substitute spring water for the offer of another cup of coffee. There are three things that will guarantee more stress in your life: lack of food, water or love. Once you consistently meet these needs, take the energy you’ve saved and direct it toward honoring your deceased loved one.

7. Use your breath as the first line of defense against stress. Periodically throughout the day bring your attention to your breath. This can be done virtually anywhere. Deliberately take a few deep abdominal breaths and silently repeat “Slow down” or choose any phrase you like that helps you relax.

8. Make a daily “to do” list. List where you will be going, what you are responsible for, and include your time off and one positive thing you will do just for yourself. Start a project that will be your work in progress and write it down as part of your “to do” list. This could be a collage, scrapbook, journal or treasure chest dedicated to your loved one or something for your children. Structure will help reduce stress, but don’t become a slave to it. Rearrange it during the day if you think it’s necessary.

9. All of the above has focused on you. This final recommendation is about what you can do for others by getting out of yourself. Dr. Dean Ornish, the only person to have shown that heart disease can be reversed, says it best: “Love promotes survival. Both nurturing and being nurtured are life-affirming. healing, in profound ways that can be measured, independent of other known factors, such as diet and exercise.”

As your grievance progresses, get out of yourself, keep loving and thinking outside the box. This will nourish your spirit, which is just as needed as your body and mind.

Finally, vigilance and discipline are needed to manage stress levels during grief. You will need to establish a routine to take care of yourself and practice the necessary changes. You can’t do it all at once. Persist and stay committed to your goal. Don’t let a failure or two make you abandon your stress reduction program. Make it part of your new life forever.